Seperate Ways
by CharlotteBlackwood
Summary: Songfic of sorts, Sirius loses the love of his life, Marie Stainthorpe, and not a week later she signs the order for his life in Azkaban. Is there hope for their love yet?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story is from my Montage of Sirius, based on the song Separate Ways (Worlds Apart), by Journey. This was reader requested, and I hope you enjoy it!**

Sirius stood there, still not quite believing he had let Marie go. They had fallen apart, sure, and they had completely hurt each other. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but she had broken his heart. He couldn't sleep without her next to him, but he knew she was gone forever. But he had promised her that even though they were done, he would always love her.

He knew she would find love someday. A girl like Marie would always have options. She was truly amazing. After all, Sirius Black didn't settle for anything less that spectacular. He knew that the only thing that had driven them apart was the war. Maybe she would find someone who could stay out of the conflict, who could keep all his promises, but in spite of his bitterness at the thought of her in someone else's arms, he wished her the best in his heart. After all, she would think of him when she made love to someone else, he was sure of it.

And if that son-of-a-bitch, whoever he was, ever hurt her, ever broke her heart, she would come back to him. She always did. And Sirius would heal her brokenness and things would be better. He would always love her, and maybe, if the war was over, everything could be okay again, like it was when they were just kids who didn't have to worry about things like war and death and fear. Back when they still thought they could take on the world.

No, Sirius didn't have a doubt in his mind, Marie would always be his in spirit, whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not. He would always love her, and she would always love him. If he had believed in soul mates, he would have been able to think of nothing better to describe them. In fact, Lily had called them just that. Ah, Lily. She would be so disappointed they were over. She was already secretly planning a wedding. He'd better go break the news.

Apparating to Godric's Hollow, Sirius walked down the familiar street that led to the home of his best friend in the entire world: James Potter. He walked up the street, wand at the ready, and knocked deliberately on the door of the home he had come to know so well. Lily answered.

"Sirius!" she said happily. "We weren't expecting you, come on in! James and Harry are playing in the sitting room."

He nodded numbly and followed her inside. He knew the way around the house by heart. Just last week, they had celebrated Marie's birthday here with all of their friends. That was when James had asked Sirius to be his Secret-Keeper. If he had known the problems it would cause to say yes, Sirius would have never agreed. It was too late to fix it now.

"Sirius!" said James, hugging a chubby little baby to him. "What brings you here? We weren't expecting you until tomorrow. Where's Marie?"

That was all it took. Sirius tried to swallow back the tears, but they were coming far too forcefully for him to deny them. He collapsed against the wall, sobbing violently, and Harry crawled over to him with concern on his little face.

"Oh, Sirius," whispered Lily. "James, take Harry up for a nap. I'll make some tea."

After several minutes of sobbing to himself, Sirius found himself being lifted into an armchair by James and having a mug of tea being forced into his hand by Lily. He barely had the strength to lift it to his lips, but once he took a sip, his sobbing slowed and he was able to wipe his eyes and look at his friends.

"She left me. Marie's gone."

"Oh, Sirius… what happened?"

"We've been fighting all week about me being your Secret-Keeper. She kept begging me to change my mind, coming up with all these reasons why someone else should do it. And she was right, of course, but I didn't realize it until she was gone."

"What do you mean she was right?" hissed James, but Lily smacked him upside the head.

"When did she leave?"

"This morning," Sirius moaned. "I went to her parents' house, but they wouldn't let me in. She refuses to see me. It's really over this time; I really blew it, Lily. I'm so sorry. I know how badly you wanted us to get married and have kids you could spoil. She's right, though. This was bound to happen sooner or later. I just wish it wasn't over this."

"What do you mean she was right?" insisted James, and Sirius let out a water chuckle.

"I'm too obvious, James. They'll come looking for me straight away. And if she and I were together, think of the danger that would put her in. It wouldn't be the first time the Death Eaters tried to get me to do something by using her safety. There's no telling if she would make it out alive this time. It's not a risk she was willing to take, and it's not one I should have asked her to take." Sirius took another sip of tea. "James, I have an idea. What if you make your Secret-Keeper the one person they'll never think to ask? They'll be so busy trying to get the information out of the people who can't tell it and they'll never find you."

"Who do you have in mind?" said James.

"Peter," said Sirius, a grin forming on his face. "It's perfect. Who would think to go to Peter with something like this?"

"He's right," James muttered, looking over at Lily. "It's perfect."

"And I can check on him as often as possible, make sure he's still safe. It's not like I've got anything else to do. I'm going into hiding soon myself."

"Are you sure you can't make things up with Marie?" said Lily quietly. "You love each other so much."

Sirius shook his head. Maybe it was his pride talking, maybe it was a sudden realization of the way things had to be, but he and Marie weren't getting back together and that was that. They made all of the necessary arrangements and Sirius wandered home. Tomorrow night, Peter would become the Secret-Keeper. Then Sirius would have to start checking on Peter regularly.

He made his way back to his own home, horrified that he wasn't going to find Marie in his bed when he arrived. Things had gotten so bad so fast and he should have seen it coming, but he hadn't. He was a fool to think that love was enough to keep her with him through all he had put her though. He was a fool to believe that she would keep waking up beside him because she liked how it made her feel.

When he got back to his kitchen, Sirius poured a glass of Firewhiskey, downing it in one and pouring another. Peter would be the Secret-Keeper. Sirius wouldn't be able to see James and Lily and Harry. He had lost Marie. This war had to be over soon because he didn't know how much more lose he could handle. But he still had Peter and Remus.

Well, he still had Peter. Sirius would never say it aloud to James, but there had been more than one reason for choosing Peter as his replacement. Sirius thought Remus was the spy, and Sirius thought Remus was the one who pushed Marie away from him.

Another glass of Firewhiskey.

But did he think that Remus was the spy because he drove her away, or did he think Remus drove her away because he was the spy? Did it matter at this point?

Remus had been acting very suspiciously, disappearing at odd times, mixing up his stories, not laughing at his usual jokes, not enjoying his usual interests. It was like he was a boy again, lying about where he was disappearing to once a month, except he was disappearing more often. Ever since Dumbledore had mentioned that there was a spy in their midst, he had wondered…

That had been another thing that Marie had hated, his questioning of Remus, quietly, just between him and her. She trusted him explicitly and was furious that Sirius would question such a good friend. She, in turn, had voiced concerns about Peter and he had laughed, and she ended up laughing with him. It was, after all, Peter.

But it was her reaction to his questions about Remus that had made him wonder… wonder about how close those two had really gotten behind his back. As much as Sirius didn't want to, he couldn't deny the chemistry between Marie and Remus. He truly did want her to be happy… but not with Remus, spy or no. It wasn't because Remus was a werewolf, he told himself, but it was because Remus would never be good enough for her.

But would anyone ever be good enough for his Marie? Marie Stainthorpe, his sweet little Ravenclaw prefect, the girl who begged him to run away from home… She had saved his life. But he would have done it anyway. Sirius would have done anything for Marie, at sixteen, and even now. Never would he have said it aloud, but he needed her.

And she was gone. He lay awake that night feeling empty inside, feeling alone in the dark for the first time in a long time.

Marie flicked her quill absently. She didn't know why she had been called into work today of all days. Everybody else in the Ministry was out on holiday. Harry Potter, that baby boy, the son of her best friend, had defeated Voldemort. Why the hell was she at work?

There had been some sort of catastrophe, that's why. Part of a Muggle street blown up, thirteen people dead, only one wizard. It was supposed to be a cut-and-dry case. Crouch had promised her that as soon as the paperwork was done and the scumbag they caught red-handed was carted off to Azkaban she could have the rest of the week off. Then she would have to start working on Death Eater trials, as a few of the crazier ones were still out looking for their master.

"All right," she said to Crouch, "I'm here, like you asked. Trial is when?"

"Right now," he said, pointing to the guards holding a man who was laughing deranged. "Miss Stainthorpe, there's no need for a trial. We just need a few things signed and then you can leave."

Marie turned to look at the man in question. Her jaw dropped when she saw that it wasn't just any crazed man: It was Sirius. Her Sirius.

She hadn't seen him since that night, walking out of their flat in London, all her things with her, knowing she wouldn't go back. She had never expected to see him again, and certainly not like this.

"H-he did it?" she gasped, trying to keep a grip on her heart rate, trying to calm herself, trying not to look into the eyes of the man she still loved, the eyes that always saw to her soul. She couldn't handle that now. "Are you sure? H-his wand? I… Are you sure?"

"There was a street full of witnesses. It was him. He killed a dozen Muggles and a wizard by the name of Peter Pettigrew, as well as causing incredible damage to a Muggle street. Now, sign these papers."

She frowned down at the paper on the desk. It was a set of notes, supposedly a court transcript that she had "approved". He was asking her to legitimize their lack of trial for her ex-lover. It wouldn't have been the first illegal thing she had done for the department, not under Barty's rule. But this, this wasn't just illegal this was breaking her heart. She didn't want to accept Sirius had done this. Peter… Oh, poor Peter. But why would he do any of this?

"Are you trying to tell me he's a Death Eater?" she said softly. "Because I assure you, that's not the case. It's not possible."

"And why would you say that?" said Barty Crouch, his eyebrow high. She wasn't supposed to be with Sirius, she hadn't been supposed to date someone in Dumbledore's underground organization, more so if he was being accused of being a Death Eater. She could lose her job for saying anything, but she had to. This wasn't okay.

"Because," she said softly, "I have seen every inch of that man's body, and there is no Dark Mark anywhere."

Crouch blinked, his eyebrows attempting to disappear into his hair. He recovered himself quickly, however, and said, "He's quite a powerful wizard, yes?"

She couldn't argue that. Sirius was incredibly talented. Marie simply nodded.

"Well, then, isn't it very possible that he had concealed it magically when with you? The fact of the matter is, Miss Stainthorpe, these papers need signing, you need a job. If you would like to keep your job, you will sign these papers and accept the truth that this man is a Death Eater, however personally painful for you that might be, because you know it's the right thing to do. And then, I suggest, once you do that, you distance yourself from his memory, because he's never coming back and you don't want suspicion falling on you, now, do you?"

The world was spinning and Marie felt as though she couldn't breathe. With a shaking hand, determined not to look back at Sirius, she lifted her quill to the paper and signed his fate, feeling like all she wanted was to fall at his feet and beg his forgiveness, to know it wasn't true, anything that would make it better. Instead, she dropped the quill, left the room, found the nearest toilet and left her breakfast in it before collapsing on the floor, staring at the ceiling, gasping in shock, tears streaming down her cheek.

He couldn't be a Death Eater. He couldn't have killed Peter. He couldn't be the reason her world had just collapsed around her. Despite leaving him, despite everything she had said, Marie loved Sirius more than she was willing to admit. He wouldn't do this to her, he couldn't.

Three hours later, Marie was able to peel herself off the floor, shaking, sobbing, tears running down her face, but she cleaned herself up a little bit and Apparated away to a familiar flat on the far side of London. Sirius wouldn't be there. She already knew where he was. Letting herself in, Marie followed a familiar path to the bedroom, grabbing an book bag of Sirius's and stuffing a few things inside it: The shirt he had worn on their last date, the last half-bottle of his cologne, and the ring he had given her for her seventeenth birthday, which she had left him to remember her by. Marie grabbed a stack of old letters and turned up the mattress, finding another box of letters and grabbing the top half. Then, with a quick trip to the bathroom she found his robe, which still smelled like him, and shoved it in the top, Apparating quickly away again, to another familiar flat, albeit, one she wouldn't be able to let herself into.

"Remus?" she called, knocking on the door, surprised at the strength of her own voice. "Remus, please, let me in, I need you!"

Before she could knock a second time, the door swung open and Remus was there, looking tired and shabby as always, but he caught her as she stumbled forward at him, sobbing, shaking, and nearly collapsing with the weight of her grief and guilt.

"Marie, what's wrong?" he said, surprise evident in his voice. "Marie, talk to me, what happened?"

"They're telling me he's a Death Eater," she cried. "They're telling me he's guilty, that he killed Peter. Remus, they made me sign his trial papers, but there wasn't a trial. Tell me it wasn't him; tell me it's not true!"

"Who?" said Remus, his voice clearly straining to be calm as he took in the news of Peter's death. "Who are they blaming?"

"Sirius," she hissed, burying her face in Remus's chest and soaking his shirt in her tears. "Tell me it's not true!"

Remus didn't tell her anything, however, he simply stared down at her, unsure if he had heard her correctly. Sirius… killed Peter? It was a strange thing to think of.

"They tried to tell me he's a D-death Eater, Remus," she whispered, hiccupping. "It's not true, it can't be true, I told Crouch he didn't have the Mark but he said I was fooled. Remus, please, tell me it wasn't him!"

Remus wanted so badly to tell her it wasn't him, that she was right and none of this was true, mostly because he couldn't stand to see Marie like this. He had seen her nearly this upset not long ago at all, when she had made the decision to leave Sirius and she came to Remus begging him to tell her that she'd made the right choice. He had told her what she wanted to hear, but he hadn't really believed it, just like he wanted to tell her what she wanted to hear, but not because he believed it. There had been a spy, someone had been a Death Eater, someone turned over Lily and James, and Sirius had been the Secret-Keeper. And now this, now Peter… now… Azkaban. Sirius was never coming back, and Marie, that poor girl, had been the one to sign off on the order.

Marie was gently tucked into bed by Remus, after she had gotten all of the crying, screaming, begging, and talking to herself out of her system for the day. He set up a bed for himself on the sofa, and Marie knew he was watching her as she started to fall toward sleep. He was worried she was losing her mind, worried this would break her, but she was worried too. She would never forget this pain as long as she lived.


	2. The Broken and the Bitter

Sirius flipped through the newspaper the Minister of Magic had handed him through the bars, the one that would lead him to Peter. Hogwarts… he would be at Hogwarts.

But there was something else in this paper… The picture of a young woman, one who had clearly seen more in her life than any person should. Sirius's fingers grazed over the picture. Marie, Miss Marie Stainthorpe was the name of the woman in the picture, speaking on some minute Ministry issue. His Marie… It had been twelve years since he had seen her, the day she had signed his orders from Azkaban, and though there wasn't a lot he remembered about that day very clearly, he would never forget the look of horror in her eyes as Crouch told her that she would have to choose between going with what she thought was right and her entire way of life as she knew it.

Sirius didn't blame her. What else would she have done? A Muggleborn witch, working her way up the ranks of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement… she couldn't let that all go down the drain for him, someone she no longer loved, someone who had an apparently airtight case against him. But he had to admit, he didn't mind that it looked as though it hurt her to sign that order, because it hurt him that she would sign it, even if he knew it was what she had to do.

After all these years, she was still single. Perhaps she hadn't been sleeping with Remus after all, or perhaps it hadn't worked out between them. At least he wouldn't have to track down some husband and really earn his years in Azkaban. Peter's death would be justified. Murdering someone just because they married the love of his life wouldn't be, as good as it would feel.

He wondered if she had ever dated, ever tried to move on, ever did move on. That picture in his mind of her begging Crouch not to make her sign the order, it had been his one flicker of hope, while standing there, that she had still loved him. But she signed the order. She had put him in this hellhole, and she wasn't going to help him get out. Maybe now she believed their stupid lies, that he was a Death Eater, that he killed Peter and those Muggles. She probably thought he'd killed Lily and James, too. Maybe she even thought he'd been there when it happened, he was that sick. What he wouldn't give to hear her say those things to his face, to have a reason to hate her, to want to kill her. He felt responsible for their deaths, but she ought to as well. If she hadn't left him, if she hadn't begged him to switch… he would have been the Secret-Keeper and they would still be alive.

Years ago Marie had visited Azkaban, checking up on some maximum security prisoner… something to do with the Death Eaters. He didn't care why she had been there, only that she had passed by his cell. She had tried to appear nonchalant as she walked past, but he could see the fear in her eyes, the tears welling up, the shock and disgust when she looked at him. Sirius had made sure to press his face to the bars, to watch her pass, to hiss at her. He wanted her to see what she had made him into, what she had forced him to become, by leaving him, by letting them take him away… She hadn't looked at all her beautiful self, either. She had looked… empty, lonely, and maybe even a little regretful. He hoped she did regret, he hoped she did wish she hadn't done it, any of it.

For days, for weeks, he thought of little more than Peter, the fact that the little piece of scum responsible for the deaths of Lily and James was effectively running free, too close to Harry for comfort, biding his time, no doubt, for when Voldemort was truly returning to power, gathering information. Occasionally, Sirius would think of Marie and he would frown, wonder what she was doing, and then instantly return to thinking of Peter. It was far less painful.

When he finally transformed into a dog, realized there was a way out, Sirius spent more time thinking of Marie. He would slip through the bars, run away as a dog, swim the North Sea… There were things he needed to do: See Harry, see Marie, maybe even see Remus, then find Pettigrew and kill him like the scum that he was. Harry wouldn't recognize him. Marie and Remus might, even as a dog. It was dangerous. Seeing Remus, it wasn't necessary. He could explain once the filth was dead. Seeing Marie… he had to know, he had to see how she was, where she was, what she was doing. She would be older, different. He had to see her, despite the risks.

The escape was a blur. Somehow, he was in a little Muggle suburb, looking for Harry Potter. He couldn't really remember how he had gotten there, how he had known where to go. Had Hagrid mentioned it, all those years ago? Perhaps. It didn't matter. Across from him, across the street from where Sirius was hiding in the bushes, there was a boy, about thirteen, and he looked just like James.

It all happened so fast… Harry was startled, and then the Knight Bus appeared and whisked him away. Sirius would have time to look at him later. Harry would be at Hogwarts, just like Peter. Marie wouldn't.

The article blurb hadn't said where she was living, but he recognized the place. It was in Hogsmeade, near a spot he had taken her on many a date in seventh year. He wondered if she realized just how close it was. He doubted she bought the place for sentimental reasons.

The front door was closed, as were the windows and curtains, but the back door was left hastily open, as if she had been inside and had been called in quickly to attend to something. Transforming back to his human shape, Sirius slipped inside. No one was on the first floor, but he could hear voices on the second floor. The voices were getting louder. They were coming downstairs. Quickly, he slipped into a closet, leaving the door open a crack to hear and see.

Marie came out into view, thinner than he remembered, but still beautiful. And she was wearing little more than a thin silk nightgown, one he didn't recognize. It looked rather expensive. She had never had expensive tastes. But that was explained when her companion came into view.

A man, tall, distinguished, with long, blond hair flowing behind him as he strutted into the room, the voice of Lucius Malfoy spilled from his mouth exactly as Sirius remembered it.

"I told you to look at me when I'm talking to you, pet," he drawled. "Or had you forgotten?"

"N-no," she whimpered.

Whimpered. Sirius's strong, beautiful, confident girl was whimpering for the likes of Lucius Malfoy. Something was very wrong with the picture.

"So you're purposely defying my instructions?" he said smoothly, and before she could stutter out a hasty protest, he grabbed her by the arm, yanked her around to face him, and hit her hard across the face. Sirius had to use all his strength not to move or make a sound when she cried out in pain. The sickest part was that she didn't even seem shocked or repulsed that she had been struck. She seemed almost resigned.

Lucius kissed her hard and demanding on the mouth, then tossed her roughly onto the couch and grabbed his cloak, which was draped over the back of a nearby chair.

"I'll see you at the St. Mungo's Charity Ball, then," he drawled calmly, no indication that moments ago he had assaulted someone. "Wear something I bought you."

"And your wife?" Marie choked out through the obvious pain.

"Knows her place," Lucius said, a bit of a hard edge in his voice. "You ought to follow her example. Oh, and Marie," he said, his hand on the front door, "if you do happen to run across Black, being in Hogsmeade and all, give him a good kick from me."

At the mention of Sirius, Marie visibly cringed, but she didn't break down into tears until Lucius had stepped outside and she heard the crack of his Disapparition. Then she collapsed into a sobbing mess on the couch. For several minutes, Sirius simply watched her, his heart breaking in two. He had wanted so badly to blame her for everything, but standing in her closet, watching what she had become in his absence, he couldn't bring himself to despise her in the way he had wanted to.

When she had calmed down a bit, she went to her fireplace and firecalled someone.

"I need you to come over, please, just for a little while."

She stepped away from the fireplace, curling back up into the fetal position on her sofa as someone came through the Floo. As the man dusted off his shabby robes, Sirius realized it was Remus, who certainly looked worse for wear.

"Are you all right?" Remus said hoarsely. "Full moon's soon. I've got to have my things ready to go for when it's over, because I may not have the strength to pack until the morning I have to leave otherwise."

"That's what you used to do," she said in a thoughtful voice, picking at a loose fiber on the couch. "You boys always waited until the last second and scrambled the morning of."

Remus's expression darkened as he saw the condition she was in. He slid onto the couch and took her face in his hands, turning it toward him and examining it.

"Your face is bruising again. Care to explain?"

Marie looked down, not meeting his eyes as she whispered, "Fell down the stairs."

"Again," Remus said dryly, sighing. "Marie, are you sure it doesn't have more something to do with the fact that a certain married man keeps finding himself in your bed? Or are we still denying that that's happening?"

Marie's fists balled up and she turned her back to Remus still curled into a little ball as she muttered, "Those are just rumors, Remus. You know how rumors are created so easily at the Ministry."

Sirius could tell from Remus's face that he had heard this particular excuse a dozen times before, and that he didn't believe a word of it, but Remus merely rubbed her back thoughtfully.

"Do you think he's really coming to Hogwarts?" she finally whispered. "Do you think he's really after Harry?"

For what felt like a lifetime, Remus didn't answer. Then he sighed, "When it comes to him, Marie, I'm at a loss for what to believe. I really still don't want to believe it, but after so many years, after even Dumbledore's belief in his guilt… I suppose he must be."

She began to shake violently, fresh tears streaming down her face.

"He hates me," she moaned. "I'm going to have to face him if they catch him here, if he comes to Hogsmeade, because I'm the closest representative. But he hates me, Remus, more than he hates anyone else. What if he hurts me?"

Sirius could see Remus struggling with a thought, as if trying to decide whether to address an elephant in the room, probably her being beaten my Malfoy, but he seemed to come to the conclusion that it wasn't the right time to confront her about that again, and shook his head.

"Dumbledore won't let anything happen to you, Marie. Are the nightmares back?"

She nodded, sobbing violently as Remus wrapped his arms around her.

"I loved him so much," she said finally, when she had calmed a little. "I was such a fool, thinking for so long that he was in love with me. Remus, I begged him not to be their Secret-Keeper, and he insisted that it was the best thing to do. Was he really so selfish? Had he been waiting for the opportunity for so long? Even after all these years, Remus, it just doesn't feel like the man I knew would do something like that."

"I know," Remus sighed, kissing her forehead. "Come on, you have work in the morning and I have to get my packing done. I'll tuck you in. Do you have any dreamless sleep potion around?"

She shrugged.

"Go on up to bed," he ordered kindly. "I'll check."

He went into the kitchen and she went upstairs. After a few minutes, Remus came back carrying a nearly-empty vial, and then went upstairs, his face grim. Sirius waited, heard voices, then Remus came back downstairs and Flooed back to his flat.

For a moment, Sirius stood in the closet, breathing deeply, gathering his thoughts. He had truly come to Hogsmeade prepared to hate Marie, but that had been foolish. For even if she hadn't been this broken, dispirited woman she had become in his absence, Sirius could never hate Marie. He loved her too much. Azkaban had made him forget that, but now it came back with more force than he could handle.

Shaking with anticipation, Sirius crept out of the closet and up the stairs to her bedroom. She still slept on her side, curled up in a little ball, just like he remembered. It was almost too easy to remember the days when he would curl up beside her, enveloping her frame in his own, reveling in her warmth and the beautiful way they fit together. But she wasn't his anymore, and it wasn't him she was lying in bed with late at night, it was the husband of his cousin, a Death Eater, and obviously someone who didn't love her as Sirius still loved her. He moved closer.

Remus had healed her face. He had gotten quite skilled with healing charms after their time at school, wandering the grounds during the full moon. Marie still had beautiful hair, but the thinness Sirius had perceived from the distance of the closet, through the sliver of vision he had from his perch, was underestimated. She was incredibly thin, too thin, and paler than he remembered. The beauty was still there, but only because she was so naturally gorgeous to start with. She obviously wasn't taking care of herself, not eating right, not sleeping well, and while this might have surprised him before, it didn't in the context of what he had seen from her closet.

The irony was that she was better dressed than he had ever seen her before. It seemed as though she traded the beauty of herself for the beauty of her clothing, her material goods, but he knew that she didn't care about those things. There was some other reason she was sleeping with Malfoy, although he couldn't figure out what it was. This was hardly the girl he had known. She was a strange woman with a similar voice and the same name. She was a ghost, a lesser version of herself.

He made his way over to a desk in the corner. There were pictures all over it, of her and Remus, mostly, and several from school of her and Lily. There was a single picture from Lily and James's wedding, Marie with the happy couple, eating cake and laughing. Sirius wasn't in a single picture.

She couldn't have gotten rid of all of their pictures, surely. He began to panic. When she had spoken to Remus, she had sounded terrified. What if she didn't love Sirius anymore? What if the lie she had convinced herself of had replaced any love she had ever once felt for him? What if that fear had caused her to get rid of all of their memories?

There was a small room next to hers, just down the hall, that bore the unmistakable signs of Remus. He stayed here at times, probably when he was in between jobs, unable to pay his own rent. Being a werewolf would never be good for a career. Sirius looked around the room for a sign of him, but was again disappointed. He opened the closet, and it was, as he expected, empty.

That is, it was empty but for a dust covered box in the back corner, labeled, "Him."

Him.

Could it be?

Sirius carefully lifted the lid and set it aside, gently, so as not to displace too much dust. Tears filled his eyes instantly.

In the box were stacks of parchment letters, dozens of pictures, a pair of earrings he had bought her for Christmas of 1980, a ring he had gotten her for her seventeenth birthday, a necklace he had bought her on their first anniversary… All of her memories of him, left in a box in the guest room closet to gather dust and fade away.

The pictures were a bit faded, but not terribly. His hands shook as he sifted through them, remembering all of their happy days together. It seemed every picture with him in them, not just the ones of the pair of them, was placed in the box. It was truly too painful for her to encounter his memory, it seemed. Silent tears rolled down his cheek as he remembered the fight, refusing to let someone else be the Secret-Keeper, mostly for his pride, because of his stubbornness, not wanting to do it just because she told him to.

But if he had been the Secret-Keeper, Lily and James would still be alive. He might have lost Marie anyway, but maybe Lily would have been able to make them see reason, to put them back together again. But maybe they would have fallen apart anyway. Maybe they were meant to fall apart.

Sirius replaced the box gently, crept back to her room, and watched her sleep for a few moments, wishing he could show her how much he had missed her. Finally, he knew it was too dangerous to stay where he was. He needed to prepare for his task, the reason he had broken out of Azkaban in the first place. Gently, he kissed her forehead, running his fingers along her cheek, taking in the scent and feel of her skin, and wishing it didn't feel so much like a good-bye as he slipped away, back out into the night, back into dog form, and set off toward the Shrieking Shack.

He had already failed with Marie. There was nothing he could do about her, but he would kill Peter Pettigrew if it was the last thing he did. He would set one thing right. He owed, owed them all that much.


	3. All We Know

Marie shuddered at the disappearing Patronus. The last time she had received a phoenix Patronus message, Albus Dumbledore had asked her to move to Hogsmeade, to be within his protective bubble. He was concerned that after Sirius's crime, after her relationship, she would be a target of people who wanted to take out vigilante justice against him. Vigilante justice was terrifyingly common at the end of the war. The phoenix Patronus never meant anything good and this one had told her than Sirius had found a way into Hogwarts and they were searching the castle for him. She was expected at Dumbledore's study in half an hour to discuss the situation.

She nearly fainted, nearly broke down in a mess of anxiety and fear. Taking a shaky breath, Marie pulled on her robes, brushed her hair, and looked in the mirror.

When had she become so frail, so empty, such a shadow of her former self? She had stuck a picture of her and Lily at sixteen to her mirror, and her smiling young face looking up at her from the confines of the picture looked nothing like the woman looking at her in the mirror.

Lucius had been over that morning, stopped by her office. Really, he had been there to see her boss, but he slipped a diamond necklace under some of her papers while her boss wasn't looking. He did things like that a lot, as if an expensive piece of jewelry was supposed to erase a night spent beating her, yelling at her, accusing her of all manner of things.

That was what Lucius did when he was upset, pointing fingers and accusing. It was much like what he was doing with his son, Draco, and that hippogriff of Hagrid's. Marie knew as well as anyone with a brain that insulting a hippogriff was a great way to lose a limb, and Draco didn't even lose a limb, but somehow Lucius had made it seem like the hippogriff's fault. He was good at displacing blame.

She walked up the way to the castle, where the dementors allowed her through, although passing them made her shake with uncontrollable grief. Her worst memory: sending Sirius to Azkaban. That entire day, that horrific day, was what she saw when she was near dementors. Lily and James dead, Sirius a Death Eater, sent to Azkaban by her own signature, Peter dead… it was as if her life had ended. In a way, it had. She was no longer that girl. She was a fraction of what she used to be.

"Stainthorpe."

Snape. She knew he was teaching, of course. Remus had told her all about it in his first letter. Still, facing Severus Snape was the last thing Marie wanted to do when she was already such a wreck.

"Snape," she said as he came out of the shadows. "I am to see Dumbledore."

"I am aware," he sneered. "Strange, isn't it, that Black managed to get into the castle, well-guarded as it is?"

"I suppose it is," she said, not wanting to discuss Sirius with him or anyone else. Still, he walked with her up to Dumbledore's study, obviously not wanting to let his prime opportunity to taunt her for her mistakes pass without being fully utilized. After all, if they were lucky, Sirius would be caught soon and she would no longer be answerable to Hogwarts on his case.

"I have a theory," he drawled in his baritone voice. "I think he must have had help."

Marie tensed. She had expected this, but it still hurt.

"I can't imagine who from," she hissed, finding an edge she had lost years ago, rediscovering her ability to be harsh. "Everyone _I_ know who he had ever once known wants him _dead_."

Snape's lips curled into a cruel sneer.

"Even his sweet little lover?"

They were at the gargoyle when he said this, and she faced him, an inexplicable fire in her that fed her fury.

"Especially his _lover_," she snarled. "He has been without anyone loving him for twelve years, Snape."

"Well, well," he muttered, "it seems that for once, Stainthorpe, you and I have something in common."

With that he slinked off and she made her way up the spiral staircase to Dumbledore. She knocked firmly on his door, and his voice called her in.

"Marie," he greeted, motioning for her to sit across from him. "Remus was quite right. You don't look very well. How do you feel?"

Remus. Remus was sitting around gossiping with Dumbledore about her. Somehow, she wasn't surprised. She forced a smile.

"Remus is incredibly over-protective of me, Albus. I'm all he has left you know. Now, your message mentioned a breach of security. Could you describe the event more specifically?"

She nearly broke her façade of business-like complacency under the knowing-gaze of those bright blue eyes, those same eyes that had disciplined her as a child, knowing all of her crimes from pulling Mary MacDonald's hair in a first year tiff to being caught out of bed, after hours, snogging Sirius Black on the teacher's desk in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Ten minutes later and they would have been well passed snogging, but thankfully that hadn't happened.

He told her how Sirius had attempted to get into Gryffindor Tower, and when the portrait did not let him through, he lost his temper and slashed the portrait. The students were all sleeping safely in the Great Hall and no one was harmed. The school had been searched, and Sirius was nowhere to be found. They discussed possible security measures and wrote up a quick report for the Ministry.

"Well, if that's all, Albus," she said as cheerily as possible, "I'd better be on my way. Work in a few hours, you know."

"Of course," he said with a nod. As she was leaving, though, he said, "You, of all people, Marie, ought to know the danger of being involved with a man like Lucius, a man who cannot be trusted."

With a deep breath, fighting the tears, Marie knew it would be no good to deny her relationship with Lucius.

"At least I know not to believe a word he says," she said softly. "At least I know he doesn't love me. At least when he hits me, I see the blow coming."

She walked away without another word.

/-/

Marie had hoped that Halloween would be the end of it, that they would catch him soon, that the increased security measures would at least keep him out of Hogwarts, keep her from having to deal with him, but she was disappointed.

It was January when Marie received another far more urgent Patronus from Albus, and she happened to be in bed with Lucius at the time.

"What is it?" he demanded, causing Marie to shiver slightly at the harshness of his tone.

"Black's been spotted at the castle," she groaned. "I've got to go and see Albus. Will you be here when I get back?"

"No."

She kept herself from sighing. Coming across as ungrateful would not go over well with Lucius, so she kissed him on the cheek instead and whispered, "I'll see you," before climbing out of bed and making herself presentable to see the Headmaster.

"What did he do this time?" she sighed, sitting down at the chair across from Albus, wishing she never had to come back to this school again in her life, wishing they'd actually caught him this time so her work was done.

"He broke into the Gryffindor dormitory," Albus said calmly. "He found Harry's dormitory, ripped the bed curtains of the boy next to him, and stood over the Weasley boy with a knife, waking him up. The Weasley boy yelled in fear, causing Black to run away and managing to wake every Gryffindor. He is gone, again. We did not catch him."

Marie shuddered a little at the thought of Black standing over a teenager with a knife in hand, and then pictured him standing over her with a knife in hand… She knew he was in the area. It wasn't far-fetched, and if he'd read the papers at all in the past few months, he'd know she was in the area too. The idea that he could find her, break into her home, slit her throat in the night… But then, she wasn't sure if she wanted more for him to find her or stay away. Sometimes, when she was at her lowest, she wished he would find her and put her out of her misery, give her the final punishment she knew she deserved.

The oddest part was that Sirius had scampered away when the boy had yelled. That didn't sound much like the Sirius Black she'd known so well. But then, Azkaban changed people. She knew that. Everyone knew that, especially Ministry employees.

"What are we going to do?" she said softly, not even caring that he could hear the tremble in her voice. The idea that she would ever be able to hide her fear from Albus Dumbledore, of all people, was a foolish notion she had given up on long ago.

He talked about security measures for the school for a few minutes and she took notes, not really listening, but knowing she'd need to report on them later. Her mind was lost in fear for her own life and position. Professor Dumbledore then sighed, looked at her and said, "It wouldn't be very practical for you to go into hiding, Miss Stainthorpe. I imagine your lover would be adverse to the idea, as well."

The mention of Lucius made her wince, and she knew Albus had noticed.

"He'll find me," she whispered. "He'll find me if he wants to, and nothing could really stop him from killing me, if he wanted."

"I agree," Albus said with a small nod, "which is why I believe that he doesn't want to kill you. Not yet, at least. I very much doubt that he doesn't know where you live, and I very much doubt that he couldn't easily sneak in and kill you before anyone realized. Might I suggest on nights you are alone and it is not a full moon, that Remus stay with you in your home, keep watch?"

The idea was appealing, and she knew Remus would say yes without hesitation, but he finally had a job. He was finally getting to live like a normal wizard, something he'd always wanted. She wasn't going to make him strain himself for her sake, no matter her fears.

"I'll be fine," she lied, and although she knew he knew it was a lie, he nodded and allowed it to pass as the truth, just this once.

So Albus Dumbledore let Marie Stainthorpe walk away without protection, with the knowledge that Sirius Black was still on the loose, and all the material she needed for her never-ending nightmares.

The next week was the hearing for the hippogriff Lucius was attempting to have executed in London. On Lucius's request, Marie was the secretary in charge of keeping notes of the trial, although she wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to show off with his victory or watch her while she worked. It was probably the latter. Marie, although his mistress, was not important enough to merit his showing off.

The hippogriff was, of course, sentenced to death. If Lucius Malfoy wanted something, he got it, whether it was fair or not. Marie didn't have to know Hagrid's side of the story to guess that it was really Draco's fault. She'd known the Malfoys far too long to take for granted that Lucius was in the right.

An appeal date was set, but Marie had spent enough time with the Committee to know that "appeal" really meant "execution". Lucius wouldn't even have to attend. After all, his old school friend Mulciber would be the executioner. He probably wouldn't have been, but Marie knew Lucius would grease the right palms.

Marie passed the weeks, months, between the hearing date and the day she would have to be present for the execution (which would take place at Hogwarts), in relatively quiet paranoia. Lucius was with her less and less, probably busy with things for his social events which she could not be a part of, and Remus visited less and less as well as students prepared for exams and needed their professors on hand for questions and guidance. Sirius Black had done nothing since January, which made Marie shiver with ominous anticipation.

He wouldn't have just left. He was waiting for something.

Marie met Cornelius Fudge and Mulciber on the Hogwarts grounds that morning. The greetings were what she expected. What she hadn't expected, however, was to run into Harry Potter and his friends. She was standing with the Minister on the steps as they approached.

"Hello there, Harry!" Cornelius said jovially. "Just had an exam, I expect? Nearly finished?"

"Yes," Harry said.

Marie could hardly stand to look at him… he was so much like James. She looked out at the grounds to keep from tearing up.

"Lovely day," said Cornelius. "Pity… pity…"

"We're here on an unpleasant mission, Harry," he continued with a sigh. "Miss Stainthorpe and I – do you know Miss Stainthorpe? She went to school with your parents, you know – are here as witness and secretary for an execution of a hippogriff for the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures. I needed to visit to check on the Black situation, so I was asked to step in, and Marie handles all things which occur at Hogwarts, as she lives nearby."

"Does that mean the appeal's already happened?" said the redheaded boy.

"No," Marie said, looking out at the lake. "It's scheduled for this afternoon."

"Then you might not have to witness an execution at all!" he said firmly. "The hippogriff might get off!"

Marie smiled slightly at his naivety as the Committee member and Mulciber came out of the halls, Mulciber fingering his ax, already eager for blood. The redheaded boy was dragged off by his friends before he could make a scene, but before they made it inside, Harry Potter caught Marie's eye. His eyes were like his mother's exactly, green and knowing and honest as they pierced her, peering into her soul and laying bare her treachery. If he only knew… if he only realized the things she had done to save her own skin. He would hate her completely.

She took notes on the sham of an appeal, and went up for dinner to the castle. The execution would be that evening. They didn't want students out enjoying the sun to witness it, after all. Of course, how they expected to keep all of the children from crowding around the nearest window to see it was an absolute mystery to Marie, who had been a student all too recently and remembered what it was like to know something terrible was going on that wasn't allowed to be seen.

She walked in step with Cornelius down to Hagrid's hut that night, trying very hard not to let it show that her hands were trembling uncontrollably. They went through the procedure, reading all of the necessary documents, and Marie had to avoid looking at Hagrid, unable to stand his tears. But when they stepped outside for the execution…

The hippogriff was gone. Cornelius was sure the hippogriff had been stolen, but Hagrid was sure that he'd pulled himself free. Marie had to admit to herself, though, there was something rather fishy about the whole thing. She went with Albus, though, on his request, and had tea with him and Cornelius in his office. That was where she was some time later when Severus Snape came in looking rather raged, telling them he had Black.

Sirius Black was taken up to Professor Flitwick's office, questioned by Cornelius, and then they determined that he had caused harm to three students, the same three Marie had run into earlier that day. She shivered at this news.

"I would like to question him," Albus said, "and I think I am supposed to have a Ministry representative with me, yes? Miss Stainthorpe, if you would please accompany me."

Surely he wouldn't make her go inside the room with him. Surely he meant to have her stand outside, simply make sure that nothing funny was going on. But this was Albus Dumbledore. He didn't need a Ministry employee for safety or assurance or anything, least of all the one Ministry employee who should be as far away from that room as possible.

So trusting that Albus hadn't lost his mind completely, Marie followed him upstairs. When they got outside the room, however, he gave her a look as if to say, "After you".

"Albus," she whispered, "you can't actually expect me to go in there. He wants to kill me. Please, don't make me do this."

"Marie, my dear, I assure you that you are perfectly safe with me. Now, if you would be so kind as to lead the way into the room, there's a good girl."

Knowing it was pointless to protest, knowing that Albus Dumbledore always got his way, she turned to the door with a shaking hand and tapped it with her wand before opening it slowly. Marie braced herself to face her nightmares.

There he was, crouched against the wall of Flitwick's office, head in his arms. He looked nothing like the man she had known in her youth, but he certainly resembled the wanted posters that had haunted her since his escape.

"Sirius," Albus said, the door slamming shut behind him. The man huddled on the floor didn't respond. "Sirius, look at me."

Slowly, the mass of tangled hair lifted to reveal her true fear: the sunken, stretched face of Sirius Black. His eyes were wild and despairing all at once, but when they fell on her his whole body began to shake.

"Marie," he rasped, crawling to her feet, grasping her robes and burying his face in them, weeping uncontrollably. She was rooted to the spot with fear. "Oh, Marie, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't stop him. He hurt you and there was nothing I–"

His voice broke into choking sobs and Marie didn't know what to think as Dumbledore knelt beside him.

"Sirius, you need to tell me everything. I need to know what happened that night. I need your story."

Sirius looked up at Albus in surprise. No one had ever asked Sirius for his story that Marie knew of, and she had signed off on the fact. Slowly, quietly, and still clutching Marie's robes with a death grip, he told them what really happened, how he had Peter become the Secret-Keeper, how he confronted Peter who escaped in his illegal Animagus form and had been living under the Weasley roof ever since. He escaped, apparently, when Remus transformed, or they would have had Peter to prove the whole story.

Sirius hadn't been Dark after all, it had been Peter all along… Peter, the one who had told her over a glass of wine how selfish he thought Sirius being the Secret-Keeper was… Peter, the one who convinced her that it was bad for their relationship, dangerous for Marie… He tricked her, used her…

"It's all my fault," she whispered, horrified. "Peter convinced me that you being the Secret-Keeper was selfish, not fair to me and I… I yelled at you and I left you and… oh, Sirius, I should have fought for you. I chose my job over you! How could I…"

She slid to the floor, tears streaming down her face. It was all her fault, all of it. All those years she had told herself she'd done the right thing… He was innocent and he spent twelve years in hell because of her selfishness and cowardice.

Tentatively, Sirius wrapped his bony arms around her, gently and awkwardly smoothing her hair.

"I love you, Marie."

No. No, this was all wrong. She was a selfish monster. He wasn't supposed to love her.

"You ought to hate me. If I hadn't been so selfish, they'd still be alive and you wouldn't have gone to Azkaban."

"I did at one point," he sighed, running his fingers through her hair, smelling it indiscreetly. "I expected you to fight for me, defend me, but you signed that paper and–" he swallowed. "But then I broke out and I saw what that swine Malfoy did you to and I knew I could never blame you, love. You've already suffered more than enough."

As if her own crimes against Sirius weren't enough to bring her to tears he had to bring up her… well, whatever it was with Lucius. Marie burst into tears.

Sirius was wiping away the tears from her cheeks tenderly when Albus said.

"I truly hate to part you after such a beautiful reunion, but I'm afraid I must ask Marie to return to Cornelius and Severus and stay there until I say it is all right to do otherwise. There isn't much time and I don't want you implicated, Marie."

"Implicated in what?" she asked.

"Never you mind, you'll see soon enough," Albus said, blue eyes flashing with deep though. "Off you go now."

Marie stood once more and before she left the room Sirius stopped her, pushed some of the hair back from her face and kissed her lips very gently.

As she went back to Cornelius, Marie couldn't help but feel like her world was shaping up to be a better place every second.

**A/N: This story is neither abandoned nor over! There is more to come! I finally found my notes and once that happened the end of the chapter practically wrote itself! Finals, so idk when the next update will be, but I'll do my best to make it timely!**

**-J**


	4. Letters

The hippogriff was flying him far, far away. As the wind whipped Sirius's matted hair he thought of nothing but Marie and the fact that she knew he was innocent. Such a thought as this should have made him turn that hippogriff right back around and find her, take her with him… anything. Knowing Lucius Malfoy she would still be at his mercy, although Remus would do a sterner job keeping an eye on her for Sirius once Sirius wrote to him to beg it of him. They had neglected her safety too much if Lucius had gotten in in the first place.

He would have to write a letter to Remus, then, not that he wouldn't have anyway, thanking him. He would also write a letter to Harry, thanking him and explaining a few things, hopefully opening a new channel of communication between them. But Sirius was most anxious to write a letter to Marie, to tell her how much he longed for her, how badly he had wanted to return for her, how he wished he could run his fingers through her hair and kiss her sweet lips once more.

Twelve years… Sirius had no idea how one could miss a single person after twelve years apart and only minutes together again, but he craved her more than he thought possible.

The hippogriff, Buckbeak, they had called it, had taken him to someplace cold, but Sirius managed to figure out that they were somewhere on the coast of Canada. They would have to go south, get further away from England, for his own safety, for Marie's safety. Still, this would do for now.

Sirius tied Buckbeak to a tree, told him he'd be right back, but gave him enough room to catch animals that were stupid enough to wander by.

Sirius managed to nick some paper and a Muggle pencil, writing his letters once he found an owl that seemed agreeable to taking his letters.

He wrote first to Harry, explaining everything and thanking him. Then to Remus:

_Remus,_

_Thank you so much for listening to me, for supporting me, even though I'm sure you must have spent the last twelve years hating me. I know I did. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to keep him from getting away, but we'll get him next time, and he's used up Harry's mercy, I think. Next time, I kill him._

_I don't know if she still wants me or cares about me at all, but I still love Marie with all my heart and I'm begging you to look after her for me. Please, please keep her as safe and well as you can. She wasn't at all her old self, and it broke my heart to see the change in her._

_I hope my name is clear soon and I can come back and be the friend, godfather, and lover I always should have been, but until then please let's keep in touch and take care of my girl, Moony. She's really all I have._

_-Sirius_

Then to Albus:

_Albus,_

_I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me. I owe you my soul. I don't know what I can do for you in the situation I'm in, but if there ever comes a time when you need something from me, just say the word. There's nothing too much._

_I want to thank you as well for reuniting me with Marie, allowing me a chance to explain to her what the truth was. I hate myself for what I put her through, but she's going to be in even more danger from Lucius now that I've slipped away once more. He's going to be furious. I know you can't fully protect her, but I beg you to do what you can, for her sake. That man... that man could kill her with no remorse and make it look like he'd never even been there._

_I know it's too much to hope or expect that my name be cleared any time soon, but I'll do my best not to hinder it, at least. I know you're a busy man, and I know I hardly deserve anything more from you, but I'm asking that you please keep my innocence in your thoughts, if nothing else._

_-Sirius_

And finally to Marie, which he wrote with shaking hands and tears in his eyes:

_My Beautiful Girl,_

_There's nothing that stings more about the events that occurred in Hogwarts than having to leave you behind. I know Albus was thinking of protecting you, and he was right to do so, but I wish you could have come with me, selfish as it is of me to want it. I wish I could say when I could come back to you, but it's not safe for me to be in England right now. I can't tell you where I am because I don't want you to do something spontaneous and try to find me. But if something's wrong, love, and you can't tell Remus, I'm begging you to write to me. I swear I won't be impulsive and put myself in danger for anything less than an emergency._

_I love you so much, beautiful, and I miss you every moment a little bit more. I can't stop thinking about your beautiful eyes and how wonderful you looked, even when you were crying, when I last saw you. I'm ashamed I was such a mess. I'm hoping that the next time you see me I'll be properly groomed and a bit more like my old self. I don't know if I could ever be as good as I used to, but at least I won't look like a corpse anymore._

_I'm hoping to be home soon. That's probably too much to hope for, but I'm going to keep hoping, my sweet love, because I can hardly wait to hold you in my arms again. It's been far too long. At least I'll have you in my dreams._

_All my love,_

_-Sirius_

Sirius wiped his eyes, rereading the letter and picturing what she might be doing, how she might be feeling. He wanted so badly to hold her, to kiss her, to tell her over and over again how much he loved her, and how he was going to make Lucius Malfoy pay for ever laying a finger on her.

Sirius could picture him, his ugly sneering face, having liberties with Sirius's...

No, she wasn't his wife, he reminded himself. They'd never gotten married because they'd parted ways. And suddenly, Sirius felt his heart wrench with pain he'd never before felt because he'd never realized he wanted to marry her.

But he did. He wanted to marry her, hold her every night, have half a dozen children who all looked exactly like her, build her a beautiful home anywhere in the country - no, world - that she wanted, and spend the rest of his life loving and holding and kissing her. He needed Marie Stainthorpe, but she was in England and he was in the tropics, because he couldn't stop Peter Pettigrew from pulling a fast one on them again. Sirius had never felt so small in his life.

Sirius curled up in a ball after sending off the letter, curling up and crying softly into his knees. Buckbeak had already gone to sleep and Sirius was alone with the night, alone with his tears, wishing he could just tell her how much he loved her, but he couldn't just put something like that in a letter.

_Marie, I love you and when I see you again we should get married and have a bunch of children and live wherever you'd like._

Even in his mind it sounded absurd. She deserved better. She deserved a romantic proposal in a moonlit field at midnight.

And Sirius would never be able to give that to her because Pettigrew had escaped, because the whole of the universe was conspiring against them and no matter what Sirius wanted, he couldn't have it. He couldn't have her. He couldn't have the life she deserved for him to give her, for anyone to give her. Maybe... maybe she could find someone else, move on.

But Sirius had seen the box in her closet.

_Him_.

Even when she was terrified of Sirius, she couldn't really get over him. She'd been with Lucius because, well, Merlin knows. Malfoy probably decided she looked like a good lay and Marie knew better than to say 'no' to someone as powerful as Lucius Malfoy, for the sake of her job. She needed her job, especially because Sirius was gone. Especially because she'd had to send Sirius to jail to keep it. If she hadn't had that job, who was she, after all? How could she keep telling herself she'd done the right thing if she didn't have the job to show for it?

So she let Lucius Malfoy beat the crap out of her.

And Sirius would make him pay for every swing, someday.

/-/

Marie lay on the bed, clutching the bit of fabric that had caught on the door of the Shrieking Shack during the whole ordeal. Remus had retrieved it for her, had told her everything that had happened that night, all of the truths of everything. He was watching her hold that tiny scrap of Sirius's prison uniform with hollow eyes.

"You have to be honest with me," he said softly, finally, after hours of silence. "You have to tell me the truth, Marie. How long has Lucius been abusing you?"

"I don't remember anymore," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Remus. I did so many things wrong. It's all my fault, but he doesn't blame me? How can he not blame me?"

"Because it's not your fault," Remus sighed, sitting on the bed beside her, shaking his head. "It's not. You really didn't have a choice about signing the papers, and then I believed all the lies because Dumbledore told me... I didn't believe in the man I'd known or in you, who'd known him better than anyone... And I told you that he was guilty, I _made_ you believe he was guilty and I never should have and it's _me_ who's sorry, Marie. It's _my_ fault you became what you did."

She shook her head, kissing the bit of fabric.

"Marie, how long has he been hurting you? I need to know, if only... if only for my own conscience."

She took a deep breath, sighing heavily, not meeting his amber eyes as she tried to think back. It had been a long, long time... But how long, really?

"Maybe... maybe ten years? I don't really remember, Remus. It's been so long and I try not to think about it."

Remus shook his head, wrapping his strong arms around her shaking body.

"It's over," she said firmly. "It's all over. I have Sirius now. I have... I..."

"Marie," he said nervously. "Marie, Sirius is in hiding. You... you can't just-"

"I'll find him," she said stubbornly. "It will be like it should have been, before everything went wrong, before I left him, and I'll quit my job and I'll-"

"Marie, you can't," he said firmly. "He's going to be living off rats and hiding from dementors. I'm not letting you put your life in danger. Sirius would never forgive me if I-"

"What do I have left without him?" she wailed. "I have nothing, Remus. Nothing!"

He said nothing for a moment, and then there was a tapping at the window.

"Owl," he said, bewildered. "Were you expecting an owl?"

Marie shook her head, and Remus climbed to his feet, moving to the window and letting in the bird, taking the letter and watching it take off again.

"Not an owl," he said, still more confused. "Some sort of tropical bird. I- Oh, it's... it's from Sirius. Do you... do you want?"

"Read it to me Remus, please?" she whispered.

He sighed, sat down, and read the letter aloud to her, sitting down beside her, letting her rest her head in his lap and stroking her hair as he read Sirius's words. She closed her eyes, listening to the familiar rhythm of Remus's voice, of Sirius's words, and letting the tears that squeezed from between her eyelids hit the fabric of Remus's worn trousers.

"I love him so much," she sighed. "I wish I would have believed in him more strongly, Remus."

"It's partly my fault," he said gently. "Don't blame yourself entirely."

Marie nodded, picking at a fraying bit of string on his trousers.

"I just feel like I let him down, you know?" she sighed.

"Everyone let him down," Remus reassured her. "There are many, many people to blame for what happened to him, but it's our responsibility now to make sure that he doesn't go back, all right?"

Marie nodded again, dropping the fraying string as there was a loud crack signifying Apparition just outside. She could feel Remus tensing like her at the sound, and he pulled out his wand, lifting her from his lap.

"Stay here," he whispered. "I'll see who it is."

"Remus," she said weakly as he got to his feet. "It's my house."

He shook his head and raised a finger to his lips, pulling out his wand. She clenched and unclenched her fists, worried that it might be Lucius on the other side of the door, in which case it wouldn't do for Remus to be seen with her and she would need to hide Sirius's letter away somewhere, and fast.

There was a knock at the door, and Remus waved his hand for her to speak in response. With a shaking voice, Marie called out, "Who is it?"

"Albus Dumbledore," said the familiar voice of the Hogwarts headmaster, and she and Remus both sighed with relief as he opened the door. Albus smiled at Remus's wand. "Good," he said, nodding at the wand. "Lucius might show up. Did you receive a letter from Sirius, Marie?"

She nodded as Albus and Remus came into the room, sitting down in the armchairs.

"As did I," Albus said gently. "He wanted me to protect you from Lucius's wrath, and I intend to do my best."

Marie blinked.

"I don't think you can, sir," she muttered softly. "I mean, he's got a lot of influence and-"

"First thing," Albus said with a friendly smile, "is that Remus no longer has a job or a place to live. As your good friend, and as a favor to me, as well - and that is important, Marie, because I have enough clout to more or less force your hand on the matter - he will be staying with you until he can afford his own place."

Remus blinked.

"But that could be years," he said slowly.

"Exactly," Albus replied, blue eyes twinkling merrily. "Lucius cannot get at her in her home if you are always right here, now, can he?"

Remus's eyebrows shot up, surprised.

"You know, that might actually work," Remus said softly. "Of course, I would only stay if Marie would have me-"

"Please stay," she said softly, feeling relief wash over her as she understood the comfort that having Remus with her would cause. It wasn't as good as having Sirius, but at least it was the next best thing, and she was tired of being strong and pretending that things weren't as bad as they were. She was thrilled to have someone to hide behind, even if it wouldn't work at work.

"I know it won't work if you're not in the house," Albus said with a small nod, "but if you stay here any time you're not at work, we might be able to keep you safe. I assume you're expected to go to the World Cup?"

"Oh!" Marie said, surprised. "I had forgotten all about that, and I'm sure I wouldn't be able to get Remus a ticket, not at this point..."

"He won't try something in so public a place, surely?" Remus said, blinking with surprise. "After all, his wife will be with him!"

"Narcissa knows her place," Marie spat. "He told me that once."

Remus's typically calm face contorted with rage and disgust. Even Albus's twinkling blue eyes flashed for a moment.

"That's disgusting," Remus spat. "I didn't think men still treated women like that."

"You forget," Marie whispered. "Their marriage was arranged. She was raised to know her place. That was the world Sirius was raised in, and I came to know it very well, better than I was ever comfortable."

"Sirius never treated you like that," Remus argued.

Marie shrugged.

It wasn't entirely true. He had, when they were first together, behaving like he was entitled to her, but once he realized that she wouldn't stay if he continued to act that they had a long talk and worked through their conflicts.

"The fact is, he's going to be there, and I'm going to be expected to... to..."

She broke off, speechless. They both knew, and she couldn't bring herself to say it aloud.

"We will have to think about how to keep you safe," Albus said with a nod. "I believe I have a few tricks up my sleeve still. You just do what you have to do and let me take care of that."

Marie nodded, thanked them, and Albus took his leave while Remus watched Marie.

As soon as the two of them were alone, Marie began to breathe deeply, trying to hold back her tears.

"I'm fine," she lied, and Remus shook his head, wrapping her up in a tender hug.

Marie whimpered, beginning to cry into his shoulder until she had enough composure to pull away and whisper, "He's going to be all right, isn't it? He's okay?"

"Of course he is," Remus assured her gently. "He's still Sirius Black, isn't he? And he loves you. He's going to stay safe for you. You know that."

She nodded, wiping her eyes and wishing she could believe him.


End file.
